I’ve decided that I don’t care what other people think of me as anymore. There is a difference to this. It’s not that I’m completely disregarding how they see me, rather, I am not allowing their opinions to dictate my behaviour. I will not allow myself to mold or conform into how other people desire me to be. That would be trying to please everyone, and I know that is the road to failure.
I am receiving feedback in a much more effective matter: Not taking anything personal. And at the same time recognizing it is their opinion, not being offended and perfectly okay with it inside.
It’s a new state of resilience for me. Before, I would ask someone a question regarding how would they deal with a specific situation? The person answers that this is what they would do. I listen and that is all fine and dandy, yet in the end, I have the choice to do what the person did, or to choose not what that person did.
Now, the person giving me the suggestion has 2 routes of responses: Person can either accept that whatever I choose is perfectly fine with the person. Or the person can choose to take it personal on why I didn’t listen to their advice and then go through emotional reactions; thus a self-created stress. In the end, since I have implemented the “I don’t care” program, their reaction has nothing to do with me.
Thank you, and No is my answer if I choose not to take their advice, or Thank you and yes.
This is not about being insensitive… this is about recognizing that each person is allowed to choose and that choice is not one to cause disharmony.. the only disharmony is the expectation that the person must do what was suggested. That is the real cause of relationship problems.
If we all respected each other’s choices, even if we don’t agree, then everyone’s relationship would immediately improve.
So it might be contradictory to not care, yet by not caring about other’s opinions, I have given the gift of my own voice to be who I truly desire to be. Because in the end, you are the only one that will be there for yourself to the end. You are the one in your shoes.
The freedom to fully express yourself is much more gratifying than walking on eggshells and fear of other’s opinion about you.
(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul