Reset Button

“Things always get worse before they get better.”

Last night I met with my friend whom I haven’t spoken in almost a year.

He reminded me the importance of meditation.

I realized I’d fallen into that codependent swirl down the drain again.

It clicked so hard.

I’d given myself away so much I was getting lost and depressed.

I was getting addicted to being with other people even if they pissed me off.

I’m glad I stopped myself before I dissipated into nothingness.

I was becoming the energy that I hated: neediness.

And now I’m totally at peace.. Cleaning myself up from that deadly Fibonacci  spiral.

Meditation… It works.

It’s my reset button.

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Trusting Women

I began re-reading a book I hadn’t touched in half a year.

It’s called Your Soul’s Gift.

In one of the paragraphs it said:

You have attracted both positive and negative models of male energy in your life.

This invoked a deep contemplation in the type of men and women I’ve been attracting into MY life.

I knew that I attracted what I believed in, but this is different. This is something from the SOUL level.

No matter what I cleared on myself, this issue seemed to be EVERYWHERE and resistant to being healed.

I saw that clearing this issue from the individual incarnations still doesn’t go to the SOURCE of it; which stems from the soul.
I then took a deep hard look at the closest female figures in my life.

I simply didn’t trust women.

Something in me, would avoid women.

For one, my mom left a terrible impression and representation of a woman figure.
Here is the history.

She divorced my father when I was very young and held onto the grudge that he owed her money and child support.

So she took it out on ME and LIMITED what she would normally give, as a PARENT to a young child.

Amidst this entanglement, my father was not able to work because he developed CANCER.

But, that reason was not good enough for her and she chose to hold onto the notion that HE OWES HER.

Over time, she saw me as my father…

And decided on her own, that I OWED HER.

When I turned 7, she married another man… FOR MONEY.
When I was 11, after we’ve moved into a new home, she began showing more prominently, subservient attitudes to my stepfather and held his words more important than her’s and my own.

As my younger half-sisters grew older, I watched as my mother gave up her VOICE in exchange for APPROVAL from them, so in turn my stepfather would approve HER, and GIVE HER MORE MONEY.

She would allow my half sisters’ authority over common sense, for fear of my stepfather.

I watched as my mother began worshipping my half sisters and stepfather.

I became the outcast of the family, the only one with a different last name in the household.

Eventually my mother wanted rent from me to live there, so I left.
After that, I’ve been noticing that I was attracting different types of women that were similar to my mother.

No matter how many energetic hearings I would do, it only had a minimal effect.

Until I realized this is something from the SOUL level.
Only a few years ago, did I start attracting higher frequency women into my life on a more regular basis.

I saw that what I required to do, is create new relationships with higher frequency women and release all the negative women appearing in my life, which is simply a reflection of the state of my inner feminine wholeness.

My resultant manifestations of the men and women in my life NOW, is from past choices and relations manifesting into my 3D life now.

And so it begins.

Amidst The Crowd, Eye of Storm

I saw that the way I am, I felt almost compelled, or more accurately a strong inner mode of operation to have a connection of my crown chakra to the “krystic way” of being.
And that if there was nothing of higher essence that I could connect my crown chakra to, that I didn’t know how else to be.
It’s my guiding force.

This is my connection to the “God-Source”.

This is where my one true voice comes from.
In feeling this connection with me, alike an omni-love presence always with me, gives a powerful reassurance that everything is alright.

Teaching to listen and trust.

To honor my choices.

That it is okay to say No to others thinking they know my path better than mines, as I shift into saying yes to what’s in line with my path.
This intimate space where It is only me and my higher self.

  
(C) The Voice of the Wounded Soul

My Heart Repairs Itself

I am writing this because although deep down I don’t fully agree with some things, I just have this urge to express how I’m feeling:

Some recent events reached to my soul and have haunted me for awhile.

It’s not a cry for helplessness..
It’s the confusion as to how I let this happen… For me. Yet I do know how and why.

It was as if someone shined a lightning bolt to my  heart and shocked me with a rigid light.. A light that woke up the sadness in me.

People gossip and feed off suffering of others.
Regardless, I shall not participate in those activities .

I am the one wearing these beautiful shoes made for me.

Those people that get jealous when you start to succeed… Oh I let the universe take care of that for me.

Those people that appear to be your friends in the workplace only to silence themselves due to fear of a “boss”; oh they are still sheep.

And oh I remind myself to maintain my sanity my true power within.. That these outward manifestations of disharmony is easily cleanse from within.

I recognize my capacity, ability, and worth. No matter how other people project their idea of me, I know very well the truth.

I am the eyes.
I am the heart.
And I know I can do this.

I am the strength of the waters.
And no matter what, I am soft; I shall not harden.

Get Ready, Lightholders

We came here as the LIGHTHOLDERS of earth.

We came here not to harden our hearts to deal with this 3D society, but to stand firm as the flame of light, an example to the peoples of their potential and direction.

Our family, our friends, everyone we have ever known or met…

We did not come here to be afraid of other people’s negativity nor as a victim of their darkness.

We did not come here to judge whether thy are suitable or not for us; our frequency already shows us by what we are attracting.

We came here to hollow out the occupied darkness in people’s hearts, if they so choose, and kindle the flame we already produce by mirroring to them our fulfilled and lit hearts.

We knew what we are capable of, and thus granted this PRIVILEGE to birth here on earth; the decision we granted to ourselves.

And not only an opportunity, but our manifestation alive and well here is the proof of our power to manifest a BEING into the flesh… a living light; this we are.

We did not come here to isolate ourselves from the rest.

We came in here purposefully to REPRESENT the light to others and SHOW THEM that this is real.

We did not come here to quarantine ourselves or hide to use our time for fear.

We came here well equipped to HANDLE the 3D; which we recognize is our creation.

And WE came here not alone, but with our tribes and families, fully supported by the divine within and around us to walk this GROUND; this we are sustaining.

So let us BE with each other in the liquid light we already are in the future that is NOW and dissolute the false barriers of separation and isolation of a mind that carries outdated CONTROL dogmas for fear of others… The matrix that is based off separation, because the truth is, we are all created of the source substance: love.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share this creation as long as all proper credit is given.

Why Being In The Present Moment Dismantles The Victim

Happy February 1st!

Let me share with you what I experienced this morning:

In the middle of a dream, I woke up from a phone call from my younger sister.

In an instant, I SAW the thoughts I had about HOW I LIKE TO WAKE UP overcome automatically by being present in the Now, all the while listening to my sister complain and cry for help as the VICTIM persona danced through her VOICE.

Being careful to actively disengage from being a rescuer, and being present with her, I converted the situation and guided her to act from the power she has within.

This space of operation is a balance of requesting her to take action through a command yet strong enough where I set healthy boundaries. In the end, she understood that I am not going to “save” her from a perceived physical threat, and yet she did not BLAME me for choosing not to help her.

I noticed the important factor is being able to say NO without feeling GUILTY; especially when you recognize something like this is happening. This is how you break the chain of this vicious cycle.

If I were to choose to operate from a place of ANTI-WILLINGNESS, then I will create more situations where there is no desire for willingness.

You may have friends, siblings, relatives, etc., that you have known for awhile now. But as you open your eyes and adjust to a brighter world, you start to gain this inner power. It’s not a destructive or ill-mannered power. It’s a firm presence of your inner truth expressing itself fully through your words, deeds, actions, aligned with who you are deep down. As you learn to develop this energy, you realize that by expressing this truth, you are simply allowing a higher level of yourself to flow through. You then start to embody your inner power into the outer world.

The space of creation is the key.
To carry this tool of presence in the Now, is like your mobile abode. You have become the eye of the storm.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share this creation as long as all proper credit is given.

Forgiving The Grudges… of Myself

As I invested many years of my energy to the point of obsessively doing healing sessions, certifications on healing, healing programs, meditations, books, etc. in order to relinquish the past baggage, I had forgotten the key that truly unlocks the door to the path forward, and most importantly: Locks the door to the past.

Whenever I would look back on what I did wrong, or how I could have done it better, my intention was to seek the error that could be corrected and in all honesty learn from my mistakes.

Yet this habit became a sort of automation that took on more of a trigger-reaction role, than a conscious choice.

As I kept up the routine of hunting down every possible mistake and criticizing myself for not being perfect, I began to see all the faults of myself and others that I longed to rid myself of. The fault was all I saw.

I wanted so strongly to move on from my past, yet nothing worked.

But it was this input of not wanting my past that energized the continual re-occurance of what I didn’t want.

I had kept the doors to my past open by holding onto the judgement of myself.

It was not some outside force that jailed me to suffering. It was the jail of my own unconscious self. It had died and surrounded me, creating a heavy net of my own doing.

I finally saw it. It took certain situations for me to resurrect again and realize.. I require to forgive all the past CHOICES (as I CHOOSE to use an alternate word to MISTAKES :).

They were wonderful learning experiences. I have learned I am responsible for every moment and every choice. There is no need to be a victim of circumstances that I have created… that would dumbfounding (literally).

And so… here and Now, I let this judgement dissolve!~
Let no one deem you as a victim, even yourself, of your own creations.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice of The Wounded Soul