Job Ethics

It’s Monday.

This morning I woke up with the intention of actually getting to work on time.
I had completed my late-night meditation to ease my inner emotions..

On Friday at my job, I kind of “blew up” at a meeting in front of all the Sale’s department because I let myself get too involved with trying to change other people.

The company I work for had begun to present many aspects of, from my perspective, unethical work practices and favoritism to certain employees based on how the managers like them. Although unspoken of, I clearly saw a more likeness if they spoke cantonese, and is more of a native Hong Kong blood.  I wanted them to be ethical. I had begun to place expectations that they should be.

While I had been observing this for about 1 year that this has been occurring, I started taking it personal lately when an employee that sits right behind me was being gifted with many good leads, while I was not being given any.

I knew this because I could hear exactly what was going on when new customers at my job create an online account, there are certain words that will be said; such as “I’m calling because you recently created an account online…”

During the meeting as the managers were speaking about how they were being VERY fair in distributing online leads evenly to all the Sales, I felt this dark red anger start to boil up.

Specifically my “boss” lady that had hired me. Multiple times I caught her try to cover up or do some kind of covert/ manipulative tactic to try to gain an advantage and present it as “luck”. She would keep all the good leads to herself and magically all of her leads were buyers.

First of all, this kind of bypass over ethics clearly does not work with me. I am utterly keen at detecting any kind of fishy operations. I’ve created my sense facilities to operate this way. Like a dog and its nose.

As my Sales Manager started touting her “motivational speech” about how she is so good to all of us and fair, I couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

When the other manager asked if we had any questions, I finally raised my hand and told them what I had experienced: the uneven distribution of leads.

I literally asked them many direct questions: “If you are saying that you’re very fair, then why is it that I hear her (that employee behind me) getting at least 3 leads in a month and I got 0?”

To my surprise, one of the new guys said out loud that I didn’t have the skill to take care of this new lead, that’s probably why the manager gave it to someone “better” than me.

The Product Manager says to everyone and me in the room: “We feel that SHE deserves it and you don’t.”

I ended up taking the morning off from work today even though I had started my morning routine earlier than usual. I needed some time to contemplate my life situation that I am responsible for creating here. There is always pros and cons. I see the good side to everyone at my job. I really want to agree and support my managers, however I truly cannot agree with unethical favoritisms and unfair acts or advantages.

I really wanted to make this work. This job offers such a great opportunity to hone my Sales skills. It seems that the moment I had decided to get INTO this job in the first place resonated with these types of peoples and a terrible system of operation. What I’ve learned is that one cannot change others, change must be in myself.

(c) The Voice of The Wounded Soul

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Soul Desired to Speak to Me

Earlier, I had an experience. I started feeling this sadness of unfulfillment.

I then cried and felt this love for myself.. that I just desired myself to get well; to get better soon.

I cried on my bed and heard intuition, as I asked what do I do? I felt so unfulfilled.. that my soul was hungry for something.

I received an answer and heard it differently this time.
For my whole life, I had a conflict of polaric desires.
I was very grounded in the 3D and very aware, yet my spiritual life was non-existent.

Then I had an experience which flipped it the other way around. I had become intensely spiritual.. yet neglecting the physical with beliefs that was created over time.
(More about this in the next post 🙂

So below I share with you something I received that truly is speaking to me strongly now.

How To Fulfill Your Deepest Desires

Often-times, people strive to obtain wealth and satisfaction as their main goals in life. Many times we find ourselves becoming too comfortable once a fraction of this has been attained.

And even ending up spiraling back down to the beginning only to repeat our work; never really progressing anywhere. Or playing small; creating excuses to stay where you are.

In order to distinguish and prevent ourselves from getting into a comfort zone after a goal has been reached, we require to remember that we are actually not aiming for a comfortable life in the end.

Our soul seeks fulfillment of its purpose. It is born of this purpose and seeks to return to it.

The true goal we are aiming for is then not comfort of a rich life.. rather the fulfillment of our heart’s deepest desires; which in truth will bring about the most abundance as it is aligned with who YOU are.

For reaping the abundance of our work is the domain of FULFILLMENT at the deepest level, not comfort.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share as long as all proper credit is given to the creator.

What Am I Trying To Control.. OF Myself?

Why am I doing this?
What am I trying to control OF myself?

Freedom.

Oh this crisp shell;
..For protection!?!?
No, it has only been served as…

Control.

What has it that not a sound be heard through these mutable walls?
…but yet the sound, at the same time, which disintegrates this field?

Oh, don’t Shame the raw cries of your beautiful being..
(your attractive vulnerability..)

Longing to be heard by the  darkness that surrounds thee…
(…surrounds thy false light..)

You cannot be a flame with a white container of conditioned light…
(your crisp white shell…)

Darkness longs for thee.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share as long as all proper credit is given to the creator.

I Stopped Caring… about what other’s think.

I’ve decided that I don’t care what other people think of me as anymore. There is a difference to this. It’s not that I’m completely disregarding how they see me, rather, I am not allowing their opinions to dictate my behaviour. I will not allow myself to mold or conform into how other people desire me to be. That would be trying to please everyone, and I know that is the road to failure.

I am receiving feedback in a much more effective matter: Not taking anything personal. And at the same time recognizing it is their opinion, not being offended and perfectly okay with it inside.

It’s a new state of resilience for me. Before, I would ask someone a question regarding how would they deal with a specific situation? The person answers that this is what they would do. I listen and that is all fine and dandy, yet in the end, I have the choice to do what the person did, or to choose not what that person did.

Now, the person giving me the suggestion has 2 routes of responses: Person can either accept that whatever I choose is perfectly fine with the person. Or the person can choose to take it personal on why I didn’t listen to their advice and then go through emotional reactions; thus a self-created stress. In the end, since I have implemented the “I don’t care” program, their reaction has nothing to do with me.

Thank you, and No is my answer if I choose not to take their advice, or Thank you and yes.

This is not about being insensitive… this is about recognizing that each person is allowed to choose and that choice is not one to cause disharmony.. the only disharmony is the expectation that the person must do what was suggested. That is the real cause of relationship problems.

If we all respected each other’s choices, even if we don’t agree, then everyone’s relationship would immediately improve.

So it might be contradictory to not care, yet by not caring about other’s opinions, I have given the gift of my own voice to be who I truly desire to be. Because in the end, you are the only one that will be there for yourself to the end. You are the one in your shoes.

The freedom to fully express yourself is much more gratifying than walking on eggshells and fear of other’s opinion about you.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul

Destiny of Light

Beneath the density of your body, you’ve expertly hidden your most authentic self..

Creating a black shell of dead light.

All of your aliveness has been retaining this facade…

We’ll continue to wait for another millenia;

For only a heart that vibrates truth can enter the Code of tomorrow..

Yet, how long can your willpower uphold the resistance to annihilation?

Your choices already know the answer.

(C) Jennifer Lee. The Voice of the Wounded Soul
You may share, as long as all proper credit is given to the creator, thank you.

Breaking the Shell of Shame

Well, I felt a little anxiety and nervousness before I finally grabbed my stomach and told myself “Just do it!!”.

I have been hiding for so many many many years… Most of my life being in darkness.. from running away from how other people will think of me (More about this story in another post..).. But when I would go in my little black shell when I’m away from the public or my friends, I really took the time to contemplate and think about it. If I lived my life trying to “fit in”, I’ll never really have lived my life. It would be someone else’s life.. a false perception I had created that falsely freezes me from the freedom and privilege to be how I truly desire to be. My “friends” would only see what I had wanted them to see, but it wasn’t the truth. It wasn’t how I really am, whether it was a good or bad person. I had to figure out who I am in the first place; to find myself; since I came to the conclusion that I can not be defined, before I could go out and BE this “mystery person” untouched by the influences of other people’s expectations of how I should be.

It’s always been my goal to fearlessly just BE myself and stop being so afraid, ashamed or feeling guilty about being who I AM.

I noticed all over the place when I go out, people try to fit in so hard that they forget who they are. They start dressing the same as everyone else because they have a thought: “Oh they might think I’m different/ not up to date with fashion” or “They might think I’m not cool.” And I’m not talking about just clothes. They dress similar or the same by their attitudes of being ashamed of having preferences to what they like. It’s one of those things not talked about. The general public starts acting in accordance with these unspoken “rules” and then it becomes an expectation where you pay with it by avoiding being your self at all costs, which totally kills your soul.

I used to be shallow like that, where it was all about looks, and “as long as you are defined of the media and public (especially your classmates/ friends/ coworkers/ boss/ strangers at the market/ etc.), then I should be able to accept you without OTHER people thinking I’m insane for talking to you.”

Or any little clue you give off that hints you are anything but “normal”, then you are automatically put in the “woah, we don’t go there!” catalog.

For me, I am totally DONE with this. I’ve decided I’m tired of living how other people think I should be, act, think, speak, and live. As long as there is any type of shame about being yourself, that’s already a jail for you. Being totally free emotionally to be who you are is the best feeling in the world. And I welcome you to my story.. As I allow myself to be totally raw.. may it help you in any way to open yourself up and know that you are not alone..

I end this with a poem I wrote:

Shaken; a spark of light through the cracks
Awaken; first breath to the max,
False despair leaves you Now,
Pulse; in the hands of love, no need “How?”
Welcome.. dear Soul,
You are whole.”

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice of the Wounded Soul

You may share, as long as all proper credit is given to the creator, thank you.