Where Am I going?

“I have a problem that I can not explain…

I have no reason why it should have been so plain…

Have no questions but I sure have excuse..

I lack the reason why I should be so confused…”

(Repeat 999999 times in your head)

-System of A Down- roulette 


Order’s Riddle

All of these problems and the inner struggle… When will it be over???

One after another…

People forming their own covenants and punishing new members.

Why separate ?

Why demote the ones that you didn’t accept into your society? 

Am I supposed to FALL to advance in this world?

Cause it seems the ones keeping their corruption strong are the ones making money…

Soul GPS

I want to let my desires become expressed..Yet here comes the labeling again.
Between sky and land, there’s a hidden realm .
Accusations and categorizations of what people believe I am, or where I belong..
Yet when they keep refusing to see the 3rd land, they’re stuck in the right and wrong.
There can be no progress in runarounds of polarity until the Perspective is transcended to the ethereal.
I remember now, I am of the Order of the Heart, and whatever lies between Core and Blackhole does not change my inner essence… My inner map.


There’s like a fist somewhere floating in the ethereal realm that crosses to the real world , each one clenching someone’s gut and threatening anyone that tries to speak of the ugly truth.

People are so afraid of speaking up and auto-police themselves.

“Run away”

 but it always chases you.

They’re so afraid of being different so they become like everyone else..

Following fake rules of social etiquettes where “You can’t say that” is their first amendment.

We are everywhere.

We are your reality.

In the end, it’s judgement. 

And once that’s gone, there’s only truth. 

Hideousness and beauty doesn’t even exist.


I thought about it and the ONE thing that I despise about this world is RULES.

Made-up rules that make up the system.

And this whole system is completely filled with nonsensical rules.

Rules that are like restrictions that chain me down and prevent me from my FREEDOM.

Some asshole randomly comes up with these rules to satisfy their CRAVINGS for CONTROL..

That’s how I feel about SCHOOLS aka herd-mentality training.

Someone decides to create a school system where YOU need to fall into their made-up aptitude categorization and submit your own worth to them; letting them determine how much you’re worth based on how much you’re filled with their knowledge.

“Oh that’s the company policy. That’s why you can’t.”


You can’t design your own life anymore, you have to live the life someone else designed for you. And this one’s filled with 







I’m not being difficult, I simply have eyes that see…

Something’s wrong

I watched as my coworker easily got things done… 

He is easily the top salesman in our company.

He even showed me his progress for gaming. High levels, advanced progress and excellent items. Not only being the best in our branch office, but the best in gaming too.

How does one summon such virility and drive for even such minute goals?

Why is it that this guy can have so much drive and INTEREST in life?

I know for a fact he does not do drugs, only drinks and has a wife and kid.

Whilst I’m over here trying to numb myself from the agony of life.

Going through life is a pain in the ass for me.

Bills, shallow people, deceptive manipulators that take advantage of people, asshole primitive managers, greedy money-hungry parents whom look at your birth as a ROI, the landlord that can’t keep their dog shut , customers that are cheapasses and give you a hard time and bargain the shit out of you, dirty cars, fucking spiders in the house, and lastly, trying to find any ounce of motivation to get me through this bullshit on a regular basis.

I’m having a hard time enjoying my time here..

Life’s a blur.

A Meaningless hole full of annoying circumstances and unreachable desires.

A game of who can toy with who the most.

Being played by the ones with less IQ yet somehow manages to earn a higher salary..

I don’t give a shit anymore

Extreme Friendship

Not sure how to explain this, but I feel like I can’t fully express myself due to the extremely large variety of friends I have.

I have friends that lean towards spiritual, religious and I have friends that are totally atheist , or friends that are vulgar, or friends that are gay, or friends that have specific political views. I have friends that smoke, smoke weed, sniff crack, drink and do shrooms. I have friends that own their own business, are cashiers, are still living in their car and friends that already bought a house with kids and well off.

And if I post something on Facebook, for example, it WILL fall into some category which will irk a certain group of friends.

I like vulgar comedy like Ugly Americans and at the same time I listen to Sanskrit chants.

I like to eat organic, vegan, raw, juice and super healthy foods and at the same time I’d go out and buy chili cheese fries and a burger without a 2nd thought.

I’d play computer/cell phone games and sometimes I invest in cheats, and at the same time I don’t mind playing a game without assisted guidance, and at the same time I like to work out my upper, core and lower bodies.

I’d listen to System of a Down and Underoath, and at the same time I listen to country, or dance/trance.. pop, punk, etc..

I have friends that are virgins and goody daddy’s girls with uber good grades, and at the same time I have friends that never finished college, hate school, and party all the time.

My own appearance would put in the “Academically Advanced with scholarships “, but I don’t always feel like how I appear.

Maybe I’m too worried about what other’s think or maybe some people need to open their minds and learn how to coexist…

Dropped Baggage

Rising to the clouds make me forget the purpose of my feet.

Too high and too neglecting of my parts… The origin where humbleness goes extinct.

The good life was never up there , so everyone thought.

Bend down closer to the bottom of death where everything dropped

All the lost talent covered in dust.

We were best friends thrown away from your fear of being hindered.. 

Irony of your judgement to protect..

Your protection that became the wall that sabotaged your own success.

Clean me up.. I’m still part of you.

Dreaming 24:7

“Life is but a dream

Dreaming of a stream…”

(Then suddenly)… Ego brain!!!

Listening to System of A Down lately.

I mean, really listening.

It striked the chord of remembrance in me to accept all creations in non-judgement..

A person with a dominant Creator energies immerses in the process of creation instead of being stressed/strained during the creation…

Just like a person with dominant Healer energies immerses in the process of VIBRATIONAL HARMONIZATION instead of being stressed during the healing…

And it goes like this:

A person with a dominant __compassionate__ energies immerses in the process of __compassion_ instead of being stressed/strained during the compassion…

A person with a dominant __Truth__ energies immerses in the process of __speaking the truth_ instead of being stressed/strained during the truth-speaking…

A person with a dominant __”Power”__ energies immerses in the process of __Empowerment_ instead of being stressed/strained during making things happen…

Why Wounded

What’s a soul…?

A brilliant evolved version of yourself with upgraded higher sensory perception and VIP connection with your purpose and heart, am I right?

But so many of us has fallen into this shithole we unconsciously created.

People expect restrictions and sacrifice to achievement because they can’t see or FEEL pure enjoyment of life anymore.

And suffering.

So much fucking suffering…

We don’t know why we’re here anymore.

Distracted with Filler activities that take our time until it’s too late to heal.

We all have a forgotten longing in us.

Do you hear it calling?

Do you hear its Voice?