Reset Button

“Things always get worse before they get better.”

Last night I met with my friend whom I haven’t spoken in almost a year.

He reminded me the importance of meditation.

I realized I’d fallen into that codependent swirl down the drain again.

It clicked so hard.

I’d given myself away so much I was getting lost and depressed.

I was getting addicted to being with other people even if they pissed me off.

I’m glad I stopped myself before I dissipated into nothingness.

I was becoming the energy that I hated: neediness.

And now I’m totally at peace.. Cleaning myself up from that deadly Fibonacci  spiral.

Meditation… It works.

It’s my reset button.

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Soul Desired to Speak to Me

Earlier, I had an experience. I started feeling this sadness of unfulfillment.

I then cried and felt this love for myself.. that I just desired myself to get well; to get better soon.

I cried on my bed and heard intuition, as I asked what do I do? I felt so unfulfilled.. that my soul was hungry for something.

I received an answer and heard it differently this time.
For my whole life, I had a conflict of polaric desires.
I was very grounded in the 3D and very aware, yet my spiritual life was non-existent.

Then I had an experience which flipped it the other way around. I had become intensely spiritual.. yet neglecting the physical with beliefs that was created over time.
(More about this in the next post ūüôā

So below I share with you something I received that truly is speaking to me strongly now.

How To Fulfill Your Deepest Desires

Often-times, people strive to obtain wealth and satisfaction as their main goals in life. Many times we find ourselves becoming too comfortable once a fraction of this has been attained.

And even ending up spiraling back down to the beginning only to repeat our work; never really progressing anywhere. Or playing small; creating excuses to stay where you are.

In order to distinguish and prevent ourselves from getting into a comfort zone after a goal has been reached, we require to remember that we are actually not aiming for a comfortable life in the end.

Our soul seeks fulfillment of its purpose. It is born of this purpose and seeks to return to it.

The true goal we are aiming for is then not comfort of a rich life.. rather the fulfillment of our heart’s deepest desires; which in truth will bring about the most abundance as it is aligned with who¬†YOU¬†are.

For reaping the abundance of our work is the domain of FULFILLMENT at the deepest level, not comfort.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share as long as all proper credit is given to the creator.

My Heart Repairs Itself

I am writing this because although deep down I don’t fully agree with some things, I just have this urge to express how I’m feeling:

Some recent events reached to my soul and have haunted me for awhile.

It’s not a cry for helplessness..
It’s the confusion as to how I let this happen… For me. Yet I do know how and why.

It was as if someone shined a lightning bolt to my  heart and shocked me with a rigid light.. A light that woke up the sadness in me.

People gossip and feed off suffering of others.
Regardless, I shall not participate in those activities .

I am the one wearing these beautiful shoes made for me.

Those people that get jealous when you start to succeed… Oh I let the universe take care of that for me.

Those people that appear to be your friends in the workplace only to silence themselves due to fear of a “boss”; oh they are still sheep.

And oh I remind myself to maintain my sanity my true power within.. That these outward manifestations of disharmony is easily cleanse from within.

I recognize my capacity, ability, and worth. No matter how other people project their idea of me, I know very well the truth.

I am the eyes.
I am the heart.
And I know I can do this.

I am the strength of the waters.
And no matter what, I am soft; I shall not harden.

For No Reason..

The truth of my being
I look in the mirror,
Who am I?

I thought I was happy
I thought I was innocent

Yet those are thoughts…

I am not my thoughts..
I am the person behind the thoughts.

Outward reality is benevolent
Yet my vision sees the inner conflict.

There are days when my outer and inner world don’t get along.
There’s no reason for any turmoil
It just happens.. For me.

One ear left.
One ear is right..

Who should listen to dogs fight?

The mother that doesn’t trust her daughter.
The daughter with a cheap father.
The father that wanted a son.

In a land of fertile soil,
In the reflection of this benevolent reality,
(All my problems are only of thoughts)

Shall I plant the new generation and reflect..?
.. I’ve been granted the power to create a new world
The ruins of my inner world crumble from the silence of…  my thoughts.

Your mind has gone through speculation with a thousand images;
Yet there is no need for luggage when your body has not traveled to anywhere…

(C) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share as long as all proper credit is given to the creator. Thank you.

WE are the Ultimate Goal..

I feel like the miner that was lost in the cave for 17 years; finally found and FREE for the first time in eons.

This part of me that I have always been searching for .. the one I love and has been so deeply covered that it became an automated blind search.. until now.

I cried and cried in front of the mirror. Seeing new facets of my being. Meeting myself again. I have assisted myself in the bringing forth the vibrations of REUNION.

The voice of truth.
The expression of exuberance, of the freedom we embody.
The face of divine love.
We are together the one that is so large, it creates many.
It cannot be defined; instead it creates.

We are the vision of the One.
We sing along our choir.
Waves of hands; waves of love.

That is our rhythm, and that is how our heart beats together.
In the ocean of abundance…

The vision of Mother Earth alive.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share this creation as long as all proper credit is given.

Love Is The Reality

It was painful for me to be around my mother, so I chose to run away.
Being around a mother that loved my sisters more
than she loved me felt like a huge betrayal; a cold burning in
the heart.

It was painful to see her afraid to speak up and take care of me, because
she was afraid of my stepfather’s reactions if he saw
my mother nurturing me.. so she would withhold the
love.

She would then give it to my sisters two-fold.
My sisters started to ignore me. They were modeling the actions of my mother.

I watched from afar; as she tried to hide her GUILT of doing this thinking no one would see, but it was so clear to me.

All those memories of me and my mother in my
younger years when it was just me and her felt so
heavy in my heart.

Our beautiful days of going to the park, travelling, celebrations, mother-daughter time..

I couldn’t explain the reasons behind why I was
running away or acting a certain way.
But I had always felt it every time I was around my
mother and my sisters at their house.

It was such a chronic and subtle distortion, as it crept up over many years; further she would grow from me, losing the bond of our closeness.. our sisterhood.

This pain translated to every area of my life.
I was eating poorly, unable to nurture my body, my
health.
I was disinterested in nourishment, feminine or
motherly ways.. I even thought being a woman was a
shame.
I had wanted to be a man.
I had cut my hair like a guy, almost bald.
I had bought boyish clothes, even worked at
masculine jobs- for a construction company and completely forget I was a female.

I took up computer technology, even gaming to
“show” others how much masculine I really was.. and
to “don’t mess with me, I’m tough” attitude.

I had forgotten the soft feminine power of an
awakened woman, that our creative abilities expand
into the life-giving womb we are gifted with.
I had neglected the skills of caring for others through
our gentle nature, yet it is this loving energy that
moves mountains.

I created an abode; an inner ashram within me as I went into the safety of my own ground during meditation. The more I went deeper into myself, the more love I found.

It was never about blaming my mother. I had allowed myself to be affected by her actions; taking in all her problems as my own..

So I gave it back to her.

She wanted it back.

And now I finally understand the reality of myself.
I couldn’t even see myself in the mirror in honest truth
that I AM a full woman.
I am no longer afraid or ashamed to be a woman.

It was actually a blessing that it occurred. For I had required time and space away from  genetic mayhem that was organizing in my life.

I was ready to let go of the desire for her to see me as someone worthy of her love. I didn’t care anymore. Whether she was going to keep wallowing in her own jail-of-guilt, or not, it wasn’t my responsibility to clean up her mess.

But it was my responsibility to forgive and return it back to her.
My life completely changed after this.

She contacted me one day after some time..
It was as though all of those imprints and entanglements between us dissolved.

We talked like best friends again.
We both knew silently that we love each other.
Our relationship transformed to one of mutual respect for each other.

My heart started to warm up again; not only from feeling the love FROM her,
but for being able to feel love FOR her freely, without any discordance!

To heal, is to let go..
All the stories of the hurt..

I decided to stop believing my history.
I decided to stop REACTing like a sick child.

There is infinite potential in the being present with a loved one.

All there is, is love.

~

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice of The Wounded Soul
You may share, as long as all proper credit is given to the creator, thank you.

Gravity of the Sky

It’s pushing…

The ground stretches..

my spine, uncurls

Oh the magnetic light..

Dear gravity of the Sky,

The earth has released me.

Upward breeze, lifting with ease.

Vacuuming to the center of the star..

A liquid ocean; of a liquid light..

This is my ground Now.

 

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice of The Wounded Soul
You may share, as long as all proper credit is given to the creator, thank you.