Reset Button

“Things always get worse before they get better.”

Last night I met with my friend whom I haven’t spoken in almost a year.

He reminded me the importance of meditation.

I realized I’d fallen into that codependent swirl down the drain again.

It clicked so hard.

I’d given myself away so much I was getting lost and depressed.

I was getting addicted to being with other people even if they pissed me off.

I’m glad I stopped myself before I dissipated into nothingness.

I was becoming the energy that I hated: neediness.

And now I’m totally at peace.. Cleaning myself up from that deadly Fibonacci  spiral.

Meditation… It works.

It’s my reset button.

Where Am I going?

“I have a problem that I can not explain…

I have no reason why it should have been so plain…

Have no questions but I sure have excuse..

I lack the reason why I should be so confused…”

(Repeat 999999 times in your head)

-System of A Down- roulette 

Soul Desired to Speak to Me

Earlier, I had an experience. I started feeling this sadness of unfulfillment.

I then cried and felt this love for myself.. that I just desired myself to get well; to get better soon.

I cried on my bed and heard intuition, as I asked what do I do? I felt so unfulfilled.. that my soul was hungry for something.

I received an answer and heard it differently this time.
For my whole life, I had a conflict of polaric desires.
I was very grounded in the 3D and very aware, yet my spiritual life was non-existent.

Then I had an experience which flipped it the other way around. I had become intensely spiritual.. yet neglecting the physical with beliefs that was created over time.
(More about this in the next post ūüôā

So below I share with you something I received that truly is speaking to me strongly now.

How To Fulfill Your Deepest Desires

Often-times, people strive to obtain wealth and satisfaction as their main goals in life. Many times we find ourselves becoming too comfortable once a fraction of this has been attained.

And even ending up spiraling back down to the beginning only to repeat our work; never really progressing anywhere. Or playing small; creating excuses to stay where you are.

In order to distinguish and prevent ourselves from getting into a comfort zone after a goal has been reached, we require to remember that we are actually not aiming for a comfortable life in the end.

Our soul seeks fulfillment of its purpose. It is born of this purpose and seeks to return to it.

The true goal we are aiming for is then not comfort of a rich life.. rather the fulfillment of our heart’s deepest desires; which in truth will bring about the most abundance as it is aligned with who¬†YOU¬†are.

For reaping the abundance of our work is the domain of FULFILLMENT at the deepest level, not comfort.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share as long as all proper credit is given to the creator.

Get Ready, Lightholders

We came here as the LIGHTHOLDERS of earth.

We came here not to harden our hearts to deal with this 3D society, but to stand firm as the flame of light, an example to the peoples of their potential and direction.

Our family, our friends, everyone we have ever known or met…

We did not come here to be afraid of other people’s negativity nor as a victim of their darkness.

We did not come here to judge whether thy are suitable or not for us; our frequency already shows us by what we are attracting.

We came here to hollow out the occupied darkness in people’s hearts, if they so choose, and kindle the flame we already produce by mirroring to them our fulfilled and lit hearts.

We knew what we are capable of, and thus granted this PRIVILEGE to birth here on earth; the decision we granted to ourselves.

And not only an opportunity, but our manifestation alive and well here is the proof of our power to manifest a BEING into the flesh… a living light; this we are.

We did not come here to isolate ourselves from the rest.

We came in here purposefully to REPRESENT the light to others and SHOW THEM that this is real.

We did not come here to quarantine ourselves or hide to use our time for fear.

We came here well equipped to HANDLE the 3D; which we recognize is our creation.

And WE came here not alone, but with our tribes and families, fully supported by the divine within and around us to walk this GROUND; this we are sustaining.

So let us BE with each other in the liquid light we already are in the future that is NOW and dissolute the false barriers of separation and isolation of a mind that carries outdated CONTROL dogmas for fear of others… The matrix that is based off separation, because the truth is, we are all created of the source substance: love.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share this creation as long as all proper credit is given.

I Let Go

Lately as I have been focusing on expressing myself even more verbally, I started seeing the deeper motives of others.

I started to become bitter, seeing the dark sides of people.

I then went into a container of thoughts that people should be more loving towards others. I then devised plans on how I could convince them to be a better person.
I had expected them to be gentle and nice to me.. Just because that was the right thing a moral person should do; and that they should be ethical.

In my mind of this perfect world where everyone followed all the rules of MY expectations, I had forgotten that this was where Control thrives.

This is where aggressive behaviour and victims breed. This was where the whole concept of Rank, authority over others and trying to have other people approve of you , is created.

This was not the world I intended to create… And through seeing what my own mind can manifest from cancerous thoughts, the cure was to do the opposite: let go.

No matter how many times I have arrived to this conclusion, and left it, I can only practice this as many times like a religion, to get it down to automatic action. Sometimes remembering this does not solve anything. Yet in choosing every moment of my life where the moment this situation occurs is the opportunity to go ahead and let go.. Let go of wanting people to be differently than who they are.

Because in truth, we are letting go of how WE want to ourselves to be.. Which is the freedom to accept others as who they are.. One of the best gifts you can give to anyone you know.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share this creation as long as all proper credit is given.

Why Being In The Present Moment Dismantles The Victim

Happy February 1st!

Let me share with you what I experienced this morning:

In the middle of a dream, I woke up from a phone call from my younger sister.

In an instant, I SAW the thoughts I had about HOW I LIKE TO WAKE UP overcome automatically by being present in the Now, all the while listening to my sister complain and cry for help as the VICTIM persona danced through her VOICE.

Being careful to actively disengage from being a rescuer, and being present with her, I converted the situation and guided her to act from the power she has within.

This space of operation is a balance of requesting her to take action through a command yet strong enough where I set healthy boundaries. In the end, she understood that I am not going to “save” her from a perceived physical threat, and yet she did not BLAME me for choosing not to help her.

I noticed the important factor is being able to say NO without feeling GUILTY; especially when you recognize something like this is happening. This is how you break the chain of this vicious cycle.

If I were to choose to operate from a place of ANTI-WILLINGNESS, then I will create more situations where there is no desire for willingness.

You may have friends, siblings, relatives, etc., that you have known for awhile now. But as you open your eyes and adjust to a brighter world, you start to gain this inner power. It’s not a destructive or ill-mannered power. It’s a firm presence of your inner truth expressing itself fully through your words, deeds, actions, aligned with who you are deep down. As you learn to develop this energy, you realize that by expressing this truth, you are simply allowing a higher level of yourself to flow through. You then start to embody your inner power into the outer world.

The space of creation is the key.
To carry this tool of presence in the Now, is like your mobile abode. You have become the eye of the storm.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul
*You may share this creation as long as all proper credit is given.

I Stopped Caring… about what other’s think.

I’ve decided that I don’t care what other people think of me as anymore. There is a difference to this. It’s not that I’m completely disregarding how they see me, rather, I am not allowing their opinions to dictate my behaviour. I will not allow myself to mold or conform into how other people desire me to be. That would be trying to please everyone, and I know that is the road to failure.

I am receiving feedback in a much more effective matter: Not taking anything personal. And at the same time recognizing it is their opinion, not being offended and perfectly okay with it inside.

It’s a new state of resilience for me. Before, I would ask someone a question regarding how would they deal with a specific situation? The person answers that this is what they would do. I listen and that is all fine and dandy, yet in the end, I have the choice to do what the person did, or to choose not what that person did.

Now, the person giving me the suggestion has 2 routes of responses: Person can either accept that whatever I choose is perfectly fine with the person. Or the person can choose to take it personal on why I didn’t listen to their advice and then go through emotional reactions; thus a self-created stress. In the end, since I have implemented the “I don’t care” program, their reaction has nothing to do with me.

Thank you, and No is my answer if I choose not to take their advice, or Thank you and yes.

This is not about being insensitive… this is about recognizing that each person is allowed to choose and that choice is not one to cause disharmony.. the only disharmony is the expectation that the person must do what was suggested. That is the real cause of relationship problems.

If we all respected each other’s choices, even if we don’t agree, then everyone’s relationship would immediately improve.

So it might be contradictory to not care, yet by not caring about other’s opinions, I have given the gift of my own voice to be who I truly desire to be. Because in the end, you are the only one that will be there for yourself to the end. You are the one in your shoes.

The freedom to fully express yourself is much more gratifying than walking on eggshells and fear of other’s opinion about you.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice Of The Wounded Soul

The Gate

Shipments, travelers…

water… gas…

The guardian with a dark face; only the white robe speaks to you.

You can leave anytime you desire.

But the Gate¬†doesn’t recognize your return.

Don’t hold your magnets, child.

We only accept a naked mind.

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice of The Wounded Soul
You may share, as long as all proper credit is given to the creator, thank you.

Abuse- Your Choice To Leave It.. or Not

As far back as I remember, my father would use excessive care-taking tactics which would convert to some form of excessive control. I have only lived with him for a few years of my life, yet these years were excellent learning experiences as I started to stand up for my own rights as a human being.
For those years of my life living with him, I noticed I kept saying to myself: “It’s just for a little while..” or “It’s okay, I just have to tolerate it.. I know he doesn’t mean all those violent words..” or “He’s just not feeling well, he is my dad anyways.. and I am the daughter…” and many other “dis-empowerment programs”. He would call me all kinds of degrading names and treat me like a dog. Disrespectfully entitle himself to go into my room and invade privacy or dictate ownership over my things.

By the way, I am a legal adult.

Little did I know, that all those thoughts to stay with him were my own self-created Jail. It stopped me from standing up for myself. It stopped me from knowing how I truly felt, by saying things that would “make him happy”. Everytime I spoke about my own thoughts, there would be some kind of degrading from my father. It was as if he owned me and I was not allowed to say anything. It also stopped me from gaining more response-ability to step up and say No to allowing this situation to continue.
It didn’t matter if he had a place for me temporarily due to economical reasons.
It didn’t matter if he was my dad.
It didn’t matter if … anything.

One day I came home from a trip out of country late at night and I returned to his home where I stayed at the time. He had locked the door using a lock which I have no key to. I decided it was time for me to get out of this jail that was killing my emotions and freedom of expression. I had remembered why I chose not to live there before in the first place. It became so clear to me. All I required to do was make a decision. And everything changed.

When someone, especially a family member, or significant other is unable to see you eye to eye, it’s time to leave. Money is never an excuse to stay with an abusive person. You are worth more than that exchange. When I left, I didn’t have a room to sleep in. I stayed in my car for a little while until I found a place. I got a gym pass to exercise and shower. I received so much support that I had no idea even existed.¬† Freedom is the best feeling. Being in a co-dependent relationship is the worst. It’s like choosing to chain yourself to someone else and having them feed you a love you didn’t think you had.

You don’t need an abuser treating you like an object or trying to shut down your soul from being free. You don’t need¬† We are all meant to express ourselves freely. No man has the right to ever control a person. And if you find yourself in a situation like this, ask yourself this: why you are willing to put up with such negativity? And for what price? What’s your excuse?

As long as you remain a mop in the house conforming to other people’s wants of you, you will always be in your own jail.I leave a poem here as a reminder that we are always taken care of by the universe:

Direction- A Poem

The dark Pupil, in the dark void
Eyes; one, two, how many to see?
seeking a Teacher, where is the path?
Purpose? Meaning? Am I here?
In this darkness, who am I?

Ah, here, I hear
There is a voice.
Closer than questions,
Atoms.. within me.

Spinning, circulating, breathing
The music of a galaxy..

Scattered and filled of stars,
the answers within..
Hand the worry to flames, letting go.
Hungry soul,
Rest in this blanket, the warmth of Home.

M31_stargazingnet

(c) Jennifer Lee, The Voice of the Wounded Soul
You may share, as long as all proper credit is given to the creator, thank you.