May 5th… 8:39pm

Cinco de mayo…. stayed at home all day…
Slept most of the day
Feeling “shelled”
Like wanting to hide away from the world
Had these dreams based on the hopes of the past
But they’re still based on the past
Feeling stagnated
Where am I going
I must make a decision
Even if I move to the physical vicinity of my friends,

If my mind isn’t near them, it wouldn’t matter how close I was to them;
I’d be Unreachable
What is the motivation?
Not feeling wanted or worth anything
If I had a problem, I would never resort to ineffective solutions to solve it.
I’d go for the ultimate solution.
Weak substitutes are like an insult to human capabilities of success in a challenge
I would never try to use that as a replacement
And I would never dabble with knowing the solution yet being incapable of executing it…
That’s a sick torture
What is the point of these depressed phases I go through?
How can it end once and for all?
I have not gained any known benefit from this other than numb suffering 
Time is going like water nowadays
Help me make my next jump


La Habra

I attended my 4th day of tax school on Thursday.

Everywhere there are clues that people are tired of the 8-5 or 9-6 boxed schedule and yesterday confirmed it.

We were talking about how we were being taxed if we earned income from YouTube and everyone in the class voiced how much they are tired of being slaves to the current work system, including the teacher.

I’m going to find the way out of this jail set-up we’ve all been so used to.

They say when man becomes so used to danger he has lost his way and gives up obtaining freedom in exchange for false safety; a jail system he falls in love with. A cage he molds into and atrophied through time. It’s happened on a worldwide scale.

But I’m one of those that won’t accept this control..

Soul GPS

I want to let my desires become expressed..Yet here comes the labeling again.
Between sky and land, there’s a hidden realm .
Accusations and categorizations of what people believe I am, or where I belong..
Yet when they keep refusing to see the 3rd land, they’re stuck in the right and wrong.
There can be no progress in runarounds of polarity until the Perspective is transcended to the ethereal.
I remember now, I am of the Order of the Heart, and whatever lies between Core and Blackhole does not change my inner essence… My inner map.

Why Wounded

What’s a soul…?

A brilliant evolved version of yourself with upgraded higher sensory perception and VIP connection with your purpose and heart, am I right?

But so many of us has fallen into this shithole we unconsciously created.

People expect restrictions and sacrifice to achievement because they can’t see or FEEL pure enjoyment of life anymore.

And suffering.

So much fucking suffering…

We don’t know why we’re here anymore.

Distracted with Filler activities that take our time until it’s too late to heal.

We all have a forgotten longing in us.

Do you hear it calling?

Do you hear its Voice?

Primitive World

This man, impressioned as a conscious being 
Well-composed with a butterfly tongue (only for gain of fun).

But just as a red brick unable to de-densify itself trapped into primitive motives..

He’s only here for primitive purposes.

He knows only to react by tone of voice instead of logical processes.

What a waste of energy for primal multiplication

To seek out body as a priority and pass down these genetic tendencies , no need to look up when you only want face down.

Subservience and domination is his game… 

Why are the higher intelligence placed with these non-sensical bullshit system in this world?!

How much more evidence do you need from me for proof that this is getting old?

Until what point will beneficial change finally anchor in favor of the people deserving this freedom??